Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Farther Than I've Ever Been

Today I am 33 weeks pregnant! I had the triplets at 32 weeks 6 days (so that would have been yesterday in this pregnancy)  So I've never made it this far before!!! Yippee!!  I had an ultrasound last week and they are estimating this baby to be over 5 lbs already!! Vincent was born at 4lbs 15 oz!! I'm thinking we won't be needing preemie clothes this time around. :0) In fact they are estimating this baby to be close to 9 lbs by the time I deliver!
My Dr. feels my previous 3rd trimester demise was solely because of a high risk multiple pregnancy but just to be on the safe side I have started NSTs (non-stress tests) on the baby.  I will be doing these weekly. They monitor heart rate and movement.  So far so good! I'm enjoying all the movement this time around. The poor triplets had no room to move. But this time I feel and see the baby moving all the time!

Don't read into the colors of the straps. They are both pink and no hint there!

I do think some people don't understand why we are not telling the gender of our baby. Honestly, I feel people put way to much emphasis on WHAT the baby is. All that matters is that the baby arrives alive and healthy.  Having the experience of a third trimester loss, I think makes me more aware of the uncertainty that comes with a pregnancy.  People assume once your past the first trimester you are in the "safe zone"... I know different.  I think know this is why I haven't really started on the baby's nursery.  Maybe for a couple reasons I haven't started. One because like I said there are no gaurentees that this little one will be here until he/she is here alive and kicking.  Don't get me wrong, I don't regret preparing for Karissa. I appreciate all the gifts that were given to me in preparation for my little girl and for all the things we have that are hers. But I know this time around, I feel like I have all the essentials and once this baby is here then we will have time to make it's space special for him/her.  The second reason I have been dragging my feet on preparing the nursery is Karissa. The room is set up as a triplet nursery and once I move the boys into their own room, I feel like it will no longer have a hint of her in there. I know they will always be triplets but it made me sad, in a way, to separate them.  In the last month I did get started. And I'm still working on the boy's room and hope to have that done in the next couple weeks.  I will post pictures of their "firefighter" room as soon as I get it done.  I hope it turns out as cute as I have it pictured in my mind!  I also started taking some things down out of the nursery.  I made a collage of Karissa's things and put them up in my room. It turned out just as I wanted it to and is a special thing for Ryan and I to still see everyday.

The top section has the NICU sign I had made for her.  Her ultrasound profile picture and the picture with all 3 of our hands together on her birthday.  A little pink fabric diaper with her foot prints.  There is a knitted rose.  She was actually given two, she has the other one is buried with her. And her beanie that my grandma had made for her

The dragon fly is from the "Triple the Blessings" saying I had on the wall. Her dragon fly was the one in the middle. It has some scroll work on it to make it girly. I just couldn't part with it.  And the precious moments bear was a 1 year birthday gift to her when the boys turned 1.  My brother in law Eric and Sister in law Candice gave it to her. And it says the "now I lay me down to sleep" prayer. The prayer we said for her at her funeral and a prayer I say with the boys every night.

Ryan had ordered personalized onesies for all 3 babies (before he knew the outcome of the pregnancy) It is so special to have something with her name on it. Here are the boys wearing them at 3 months old.

The stitchery was made by my sister. She was so sweet and put "Karissa Marie In heaven with Jesus" The boys have the same ones, but in blue obviously, and they will have theirs in their room.

I only have 6 weeks to go!!!

We are headed to L.A. this weekend for family get togethers and then once we get back, then its major "operation boys room"!! I need to get them moved into their new room pronto. Pictures coming soon!

1 comment:

  1. You got me all teary eyed! You are such a strong person...but I know you wish you never had to be this strong. Your little girl will always be a part of your life and I know as a friend watching your boys grow up, that I always remember that your boys are just 2 parts of the whole. You were blessed with three beautiful babies, Karissa is just watching you from above. And I can't wait to see both the boys room and the new baby's..whenever it is that you decide to finish it. You always make everything look amazing! 7 weeks to go! Yay!